Pilar's Astral Projection Log

ship's counselor's log, star date 158.296

I almost got out of my body again. This is the second time. I felt extreme heaviness in my body, especially my arms and shoulders. Strange sensations across my chest and then a spinning sensation, and my heart began to race. I became instantly really excited, which brought me right back into my body and ordinary awareness. I will try again tonight.

I am on week three of the gnostic web videos and am finding their instructions extremely helpful and practical.

My question today: I was trying forever it seemed like, after that initial partial exit. Then I just kept sponging and sponging and trying to do the spinal bounce and focus on my heart--you name it, and I got bored and was thinking--nothing is happening--what am I supposed to do at that point?? What is supposed to accelerate you to the point of popping out??

-end log-

[Rob]

Wow that's great, keep it up Pilar.

I don't like the heart energy sensations, they scare me a bit.
They just feel like you are going to have a heart attack.
It feels like the heart is beating way too fast, but I guess it's not the physical heart?

Thing that I can't get my head around is how you stop the excitement emotion.

It's like winning the lottery and not getting excited.

Keep up the practice. You sound like you are doing so well with it.

In Peace Love and Light
Rob

[Rob]

The log is a great idea, I think we should all do one.

PLL
Rob

Originally Posted by Rob

I don't like the heart energy sensations, they scare me a bit.
They just feel like you are going to have a heart attack.
It feels like the heart is beating way too fast, but I guess it's not the physical heart?

In gnostic web they said it was the heart chakra spinning, and that the heart chakra plays a key role in the separation of the astral and physical bodies.

I was trying to just focus on my heart when the spinning/disorientation sensations where happening, but it was no use--I didn't get through !

I'll try again today!
Pilar (PS--winning the lottery and not getting excited :D )

[atomheart]

Heart "problems" was my initial obstacle when I was learning to AP.. While doing my usual astral projection methods, my heart always hurt and I always diverted the energy to my third eye to avoid the pain. At some point though I decided to directly concentrate in the centre of the heart-pain, go at the very core of the heart chakra, going deeper and deeper like removing the layers of onion – a heart chakra meditation technique I'd read about. I kept insisting despite the pain, I got vivid images of a galaxy or a tornado, moving towards the eye of the storm sort of speak.. and then suddenly there was release, the pain turned into a soothing warm sensation.. and that's when I had my first OBE! Since then my heart chakra has become my best friend

This week I am viewing week 5 of the gnostic web series. I find I am taking a very 'Pilar' approach to AP, that is, I am gathering as much understanding about the process and what to expect as possible, before throwing myself into the unknown. This helps me to manage my fear levels :D

Last week I learned this particular group's take on the components of the psyche, and it was interesting, because it just reaffirms things everybody else is saying, esp. things I have heard taught in Buddhism. I like their explanations, which I find extremely clear and practical. This group is a religious one, they are gnostics, and that is not my path. But I am not finding any problem with this whatsoever, as I have no interaction with their forums or members, and their training course material is completely devoid of any religious content. It is like taking a university class in astral projection. Naturally, this appeals to me ;D

I really appreciate the way they approach the topic of astral entities--they do not take them personally, and they do not focus on them. All of this is discussed within a much larger context which minimizes their importance and keeps the focus on personal spiritual growth. THE GOAL IS ENLIGHTENMENT. This meets my needs for clarity and purpose in the practice.

According to their material, we are multi-dimensional beings composed of parts from each dimension. In order to ascend into higher levels, we must discard the parts that exist in the lower dimensions. In order to go into the astral, we leave behind the physical body, to move beyond the astral and mental, we leave behind the egos (negative emotions are caused by entities from the 4th and 5th dimension manifesting through us), in order to ascend into the higher dimensions, we must be able to achieve leaving behind the personality and the subconscious. It made alot of sense to me to hear the enlightenment process described in this way.

I am grateful for the information coming to me through this course.

I have been practicing the mind-control of negative thoughts as usual, but have increased my cultivation of positive feelings after viewing 'The Secret'. I spend a couple of moments each day in a specific meditation of manifesting positive feelings of well-being and gratitude. I am practicing stating out-loud things I am grateful for and revelling in the feelings that well up in my heart. This can arise from seeing a beautiful tree on my walk, or receiving a material object. I am practicing manifesting abundance.

Right now, I am practicing these things rather than trying to consciously ap. Having had such terrifying and traumatic experiences in the past, I need alot of prep to set up a positive ap practice. So I am spending alot of time on the prep.

~Pilar

Okay, so at the moment my energy levels are extremely low and I am sick :( I am also on the road and living out of a van so have not had much incentive to practice conscious obe's. I still have astral experiences though, mostly waking up in dreaming (lucidity) and I practice with that whenever it happens. So yesterday morning I was dreaming unconsciously and moving around through a dream space when I noticed a guy in a wheelchair nearby and stopped to look at him. He had his eyes closed and I had this thought-- he is in a wheelchair and so physically paralyzed but looking at his eyes, I think he is astral projecting. Right then, his eyes popped open and he said telepathically -- You can SEE me then? He got really excited. But his excitedness was really too much and things began to warp and his face began to get scary and monstrous looking. Blood started coming out of his nose and his eyes shifted so one was higher than another, and I said sort of forecefully as a directive to him-- Nice, not scary! But it was going out of control and taking on this eerie aspect becoming more and more like something from one of those slasher horror movies I watched as a teenager. His face started to look really menacing. Then I warned him again more strongly-- Nice! Not scary! But things were out of control. The guy got up out of his wheelchair and I moved quickly away from him and took the place of an observer at the periphery. But the scene literally became as if I was watching a teenage slasher movie like Jason or something. And I won't describe the details because they were as gory and violent as that movie. I woke myself up after I observed him kill someone. Yuck!!

I have a few thoughts on this. When I was saying "Nice, not scary!" this reminds me of the directives we give ourselves in the astral to control our own thought manifestations. Also on gnostic web last week they talked about the contents of our own psyche manifesting in the astral, and us being able to observe and interact with the contents of our subconscious.

Anyways, I didn't feel extreme emotion during this experience, but it was disturbing. It was definitely astral as all the astral rules were in place such as telepathy, being able to move with a thought, having a non-specific body that could move very quickly etc.

I guess my questioning on the issue would be whether that experience reflects elements in my own subconscious or whether that dude in the wheelchair who came to life when he realized I could 'see' him was an astral entity of some kind.

[Rob]

Blimey Pilar, that's fascinating and scary at the same time.

Have you come across the wind of Belalin in mystic web? Sounds like you could have used that in this situation.

PLL
Rob

Oh, I want to add one more thing to this. During the day I have been regularly remembering the Secret mantra "what you are thinking about, you will create more of", and I noticed that at the end of this dream/lucid dream, I said that mantra to myself in the astral, and that pulled me out of it entirely to the point that I woke up.

Rob: haven't come across that yet...maybe this week. ~P